I.miss.boberries

Having three fairly uneventful pregnancies prior to this one definitely did not prepare me for this one.

This actually us a pretty tough post to write. As I started thinking about how sick I was last year I just couldnt believe it.

I was on medication at the beginning to help keep the pregnancy and then at 6 weeks I started injections at home for the blood disorder.

Side note: I hate needles, IV, drawing blood, epidurals, etc. You would think after 3 C-Sections I would be used to it.

Nope.

I had to give myself a shot (In the abdomen no less) everyday.

I usually have a little bit of morning sickness and the. It tapers off at about the 12th week.  Well, I kept getting sicker and sicker. Nothing was working. I even tried the super duper medicine they give you when you are on Chemo.

No luck.

I was dropping pounds and couldn’t stay hydrated. I had amazing doctors that didn’t just want to put me in the hospital so they set up home health care.

Now I am very grateful that I didn’t have to spend months in the hospital – but – home health care is basically you or whoever lives with you doing all of the stuff they do in the hospital.

The nurse would come and start an IV (which normally took quite a few pokes since I was so dehydrated) the. Kyle and I would be on our own. Setting up IV bags, adding medication to the IV bags, waking up in the middle of the night to change the IV bags.  I also was on an infusion pump that was like a little purse.  I had to change the site every day. (Remember, I hate needles) The medicine I was on was so strong I soon developed welts at the injection site.

Even with all of that I lost almost 20 pounds.  At one point I weighed less then what I did in high school.  Week 20 rolled around and I could still fit into my regular clothes no problem.

Being this sick was part of the reason that I hadn’t hit me that I was going to get to have a baby.  I had to keep reminding myself.

My husband and children were amazing during this season.  The IV pole was very difficult to get through door ways so I would be pretty immobile. I home schooled either from the couch or my bed most days. Kyle was working two jobs at the time and then would come home and take care of me and the house and the kids. My friends were awesome, periodically bringing meals and helping with the kids.

I was sick over Thanksgiving, but Kyle just helped me pack up all of my paraphernalia and head over to my parents to spend the holiday with them.  Same thing for Christmas, I had to make sure they shipped the correct amount to where we would be. I missed eating BoBerry Biscuits while were there.

It was really hard and really awful.  I really felt like I would never get better.

Why am I telling you all of this?

For a couple of reasons ~ God was so near to me. This is a long quote, but I read this so many times and I can honestly say its true. The Lord gave me the grace to not become silent, but to continue to press in to Him. Wait until you hear how He blessed us.

And all this suffering….a blur….I don’t remember alot of it….it is a fading memory

“God often DELAYS IN ANSWERING PRAYER. We have several instances of this in sacred Scripture. Jacob did not get the blessing from the angel until near the dawn of day-he had to wrestle all night for it. The poor woman of Syrophenicia was answered not a word for a long while. Paul besought the Lord thrice that “the thorn in the flesh” might be taken from him, and he received no assurance that it should be taken away, but instead thereof a promise that God’s grace should be sufficient for him. If thou hast been knocking at the gate of mercy, and hast received no answer, shall I tell thee why the mighty Maker hath not opened the door and let thee in? Our Father has reasons peculiar to himself for thus keeping us waiting. Sometimes it is to show his power and his sovereignty, that men may know that Jehovah has a right to give or to withhold. More frequently the delay is for our profit. Thou art perhaps kept waiting in order that thy desires may be more fervent. God knows that delay will quicken and increase desire, and that if he keeps thee waiting thou wilt see thy necessity more clearly, and wilt seek more earnestly; and that thou wilt prize the mercy all the more for its long tarrying. There may also be something wrong in thee which has need to be removed, before the joy of the Lord is given. Perhaps thy views of the Gospel plan are confused, or thou mayest be placing some little reliance on thyself, instead of trusting simply and entirely to the Lord Jesus. Or, God makes thee tarry awhile that he may the more fully display the riches of his grace to thee at last. Thy prayers are all filed in heaven, and if not immediately answered they are certainly not forgotten, but in a little while shall be fulfilled to thy delight and satisfaction. Let not despair make thee silent, but continue instant in earnest supplication. ” – Spurgeon

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2 thoughts on “I.miss.boberries

  1. NiCole says:

    Thanks so much for these blogs. Today’s especially. I needed to hear that quote. I knew you were sick during your pregnancy but I never knew why. Thanks for letting us get a glimpse into what God has done in your life!

    Love you… NiCole

  2. Sheree says:

    Tears…

    Watching you walk through that year was both one of the lowlights and highlights of my friendships. My respect for you soared. Thank you for letting me have a front seat to watch the faithfulness and sustaining grace of God.

    Wow, was she worth it!!!!

    I love you lots!

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